Taking Names

Read this on SexualityReclaimed :)

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This is a sweet and thought-provoking article from a man who took his wife’s last name:

I Took My Wife’s Last Name

I appreciate this man’s stance toward making the personal political, and yet remaining true to what he simply wanted: marking the creation of his new family.

J and I were filling out our marriage license tonight (we’re getting closer! we got our prenup notarized today, too!) and trying to decide what we want to do with our names.

I have been sure that I would keep my last name- it’s too good to erase. And I am also adamant that I am not being transferred as property from my father to my husband. But what about taking J’s last name as a middle name? I already have two (one that my parents gave me as a “regular” middle name, the other that my mom wanted to give both my sister and I as a second middle name to commemorate her side of the family. It’s not technically her maiden name, as her stepfather had adopted her when she was young, but is her original last name), and I don’t want three middle names. Do I give up one of my middle names? Which one? I love my first middle name; it’s become a nickname of mine. I also appreciate my second name as it has preserved my mom’s narrative of her strength and perseverance of getting through a tough childhood.

J and I could create a hyphenated last name. But that gets long and arduous for ourselves and others. And like the author in the article, we don’t want to create a law firm. We want to simply mark the creation of our family.

It’s not an automatic option to take one another’s last names as a middle name, but it sounds like it is an option; it simply needs to be approved by court before our names are official. But we are considering it. So I could drop my second middle name and adopt J’s last name as my second middle name. He could drop his middle name and take my last name as his middle name.

Slightly complicated, and expensive to do. Changing our names would require trips to the DMV. And money.

It feels worth it, but also a little annoying.

Regardless, here is to our little fam :D