Read this on SexualityReclaimed :)
This is a sweet and thought-provoking article from a man who took his wife’s last name:
I Took My Wife’s Last Name
I appreciate this man’s stance toward making the personal political,
and yet remaining true to what he simply wanted: marking the creation of
his new family.
J and I were filling out our marriage license tonight (we’re getting
closer! we got our prenup notarized today, too!) and trying to decide
what we want to do with our names.
I have been sure that I would keep my last name- it’s too good to
erase. And I am also adamant that I am not being transferred as property
from my father to my husband. But what about taking J’s last name as a
middle name? I already have two (one that my parents gave me as a
“regular” middle name, the other that my mom wanted to give both my
sister and I as a second middle name to commemorate her side of the
family. It’s not technically her maiden name, as her stepfather had
adopted her when she was young, but is her original last name), and I
don’t want three middle names. Do I give up one of my middle names?
Which one? I love my first middle name; it’s become a nickname of mine. I
also appreciate my second name as it has preserved my mom’s narrative
of her strength and perseverance of getting through a tough childhood.
J and I could create a hyphenated last name. But that gets long and
arduous for ourselves and others. And like the author in the article, we
don’t want to create a law firm. We want to simply mark the creation of
It’s not an automatic option to take one another’s last names as a
middle name, but it sounds like it is an option; it simply needs to be
approved by court before our names are official. But we are considering
it. So I could drop my second middle name and adopt J’s last name as my
second middle name. He could drop his middle name and take my last name
as his middle name.
Slightly complicated, and expensive to do. Changing our names would require trips to the DMV. And money.
It feels worth it, but also a little annoying.
Regardless, here is to our little fam :D