I have been struggling a little with the following lately:
I look so damn straight.
I can't (and definitely don't!!) want to change my primary relationship. But that makes me look straight.
I like my feminine gender expression, and some of the traditional things that go with that: make-up, long hair, etc. That makes me look straight, too.
How do I tell other hot queer chicks that I am "one of them"??
I don't want to change myself to gain "acceptance." I want to just be me, long hair, mascara, and all.
Does the fact that I don't seem to be "noticed" by other queer people mean that I don't put out the vibe that I identify that way? Does it tell me that I'm not actually queer?
Haha, oh goodness... that can't be! Right?? Because I know how I feel across gender and sex lines. I know when I'm into someone and what that means (i.e., jump them, take them home, and spend hours with them doing lots of things...).
I want to be noticed and appreciated by other queer people.
Maybe I need to try noticing and appreciating other queer people?
Maybe I need to put myself out there more? (*what does that mean exactly?)
Maybe I should try hitting on people?
Maybe I should try harder to meet people?
Does it have to to do with the vibe you get from people (me) when they are already in a relationship, versus when they're single? Am I entering an age group where people want to "settle down" with one person, and aren't interested in dating someone who already has a partner? Is that dynamic perhaps more true for queer women? Am I finding that my dating pool is simply declining, as people rule me out for not wanting to date someone in an open relationship, not attracted to a straight-looking girl, etc.?
Why do I have more questions than answers? :-P