April 1. April Fool's Day!
Yes, it also happens to be our open anniversary. I am not sure if there is a funny joke in there, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the date. :-)
Last year, I wrote a post with our favorite books and podcasts and the lessons we had learned so far in our journey. I wanted to try something similar for this year.
April 1, 2013
Some favorite new books: Sexual Intelligence, America's War on Sex, Not Under My Roof, Polyamory in the 21st Century, Insatiable Wives, The Monogamy Gap, and Hard to Get
Some old lessons wrapped up new:
-Try to stay level-headed when experiencing NRE; don't make rash decisions when in your delicious NRE phase.
-Let relationships be what they will. Don't force a person into a role.
-Define your open relationship ethics. Do your darndest to live by them. If you mess up, acknowledge it, forgive yourself and others, and move forward.
-Continue to expand your sense of sexual and erotic intelligence. This applies to activities, behaviors, body image, and more.
-Stick by your alternative sexualities community. This includes: LGBTQ, open, poly, swingers, BDSM, tantra, sacred spirituality, fetishists, kinky, and all other people who experience their gender, sexual orientation, and sexual identities, needs, and preferences as something that does not fall within the vanilla/boring/mainstream/traditional bleh sea of missionary, hetero sex. (ha!)
-Rejection is a lesson in loving and appreciating yourself anyway, even if someone else doesn't in the way you want them to.
Some goals going forward (for me, K):
-Continue my challenging introspective work so that I continue to be a more independent individual
-Practice active listening, paraphrasing, validation, and verbal reassurance
-Re-read Sex at Dawn
-Continue planning our party intentionally and thoughtfully
-Direct massive energies at recreating a fantastic open community, if we end up moving this summer (and if we don't, continue building and maintaining the amazing one we have). I can't bear the thought of not having one!
-Keep putting myself out there in the wonderful world of dating women. Keep my heart open.
-Pay attention to chemistry, and the lack thereof. Pay attention to the person, and not a need or behavior I am focused on.
-Read (more) books on: sex therapy; healthy, unhealthy, and abusive/violent relationships; nonviolent communication; LGBTQ experiences; etc.
J realized that this anniversary just about marks the point that a third of our relationship has been spent open now. I think that is awesome!! Yay us! I LOVE YOU J!!!