I’m Just Telling You Not to Eat That. It Fell on the Floor. At a Sex Club.

I really needed an excuse to use this quote as a title of a post, because I really want to put it on Facebook, but I’m not sure either J or I are ready to “come out” to the Facebook world about our open relationship. Last night, I started writing a post that used this quote as a metaphor for how we negotiate: what if I want to eat it anyway? Who cares if it fell on the floor? Are you not comfortable with me eating it because it fell on the floor, or are you just concerned that it won’t taste good anymore and are concerned about my experience eating it? Needless to say, I decided the whole thing turned out pretty stupid, and so I am sparing you from reading more with that line of thinking. I realized that this quote is about happiness, friends, and laughter.

J and I have had some rough issues to work through, primarily around jealousy and insecurity, and primarily on my end. We have come out on the other end stronger than before, and happier with each other and ourselves. We aren’t done hashing everything out, I am sure, but I can definitely appreciate the progress we have made and how far we have come in just a few months. It’s a process, not a destination. I can’t expect myself to be a completely different person after a few months.

That being said, we have met incredible people in the exploration of our open relationship! We have had eye-opening and thought-provoking conversations, delicious meals, fun game nights, sexy sleepovers, gorgeous bike rides, partner pole dancing classes, and mellow movie nights. This is like… what it’s like to have friends!! But with the possibility of sex! It’s awesome!

We also have hilarious moments together, during and outside of “playtime.” The title of this post is actually my favorite quotable quote from the past few months (thus, the need to use it on our blog!). J had dropped a piece of food on the floor of our favorite “sex” club, and this what he said to me after picking it off the ground and putting it on the edge of his plate: “I’m just telling you not to eat that. It fell on the floor. (lovely pause). At a sex club.” I think he is hilarious, and I love that I get to see him make other people laugh, and that we have other people in our lives that fulfill different parts of us.

Despite discomfort, severe bouts of crying, and this feeling that we are exploring uncharted territory (and where the HELL are we and what are we DOING?!?), we have gained so much joy and laughter, and made some of the best connections with other people doing what we are doing.

Basically, this post is a shout-out to the wonderful people we have met in the past few months, who are honest, open, communicative, and not afraid to be who they want to be! Both J and I are better people for knowing you, and our open relationship journey would not be the same without you! This is also a shout-out to our friends and family that love us, respect us, and want us to be happy, and who listen to our stories, ask good questions, and give solid feedback. Our experiences navigating this uncharted terrain and negotiating our relationship have gone more smoothly because of the support we have from each of you, and we love you!