Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Elusive FMF- Is it really all it is cracked up to be?

K and I recently had the chance to experience an FMF thanks to a willing and adventurous woman from a couple that we have become close with recently.  First of all, I want to thank that other woman for being so adventurous and willing to hop right in and try something completely new despite being fairly new to all of this.

So, to put the FMF in perspective for our readers it is important to know that for K, this was all about my pleasure. :-)  K, while comfortable playing with other women and occasionally turned on by those experiences, is primarily straight.  This meant that her motivation for inviting another woman to join us was primarily about turning me on and allowing me to have the experience of two women who were both there and interested in playing with me. 

In my imagination (yes I have thought about this before. . . a lot) this scenario sounded awesome but as this scenario started to seem more like a real possibility, I began to question whether this was something that I was really even interested in.  Since the option to play with other women is already available to me through couple play, group play, separate play, and other types of play, it meant that the only benefit of an FMF was literally having two women pleasing me at the same time.  Because, if I just wanted to be with other women, I could experience that through couple play or single play with other women in a one-on-one type setting. 

When I actually thought (realistically, not just fantasizing) about the logistics of the scenario I realized that I am always more than satisfied with just one woman in the bedroom.  I cannot recall a single time in my life when the woman I was with was completely drained while I lay there wanting more. This is especially true with K who is always more than willing to make sure I am satisfied by using her hands, mouth, toys, etc. in order to make sure that I am completely satisfied!

So, while the FMF sounded fun as a new experience to try (because, after all, you have to try something once to know whether or not you like it) I was not entirely sure how the logistics of the actual scenario would work out.

Not to sound completely ungrateful for the chance to try out this experience and for these two beautiful and open women who were willing to make this happen for me but. . . I am not sure that the reality of the situation really lived up to the fantasy.  To be perfectly honest, at times it felt like twice as much work without a lot of added benefit.  Throughout the situation I felt like it was quite difficult to just act naturally and follow my urges because I was constantly worried about a variety of things such as: whether or not I was giving equal time to both women, whether both women were satisfied, and if there were jealousy issues coming up. Even with the Hitachi Magic Wand as my partner, I was constantly trying to make sure that both women were satisfied, getting enough attention and enjoying the experience. It became somewhat overwhelming to keep track of all of these different factors and I sort of wished that I was alone and fantasizing about the experience rather than actually in the situation.  I think that as I feel more comfortable with K and more trusting of her ability to honestly communicate when she is having feelings of jealousy, an FMF experience will be more satisfying.  However, at the point we were at when we had this FMF, I was unsure about whether or not K was honestly communicating with me about her desire to have this experience.  Because of all of the emotional complications of this particular FMF, the sex was not quite as spectacular as there is likely potential for.

Besides all of the mental turn offs of attempting an FMF that I learned from my first attempt at an FMF, I confirmed that one woman is more than enough to satisfy me.  In my relationship I am almost always ready to be done with sex and to fall asleep before K.  Adding in a second woman who also needed physical attention, penetration, and kissing was simply more work than I was able to handle physically while still ensuring that both women were physically satisfied.  Thank goodness for the Hitachi Magic Wand because without that amazing device, these women would have been expecting way too much out of me.

While the FMF was overall a good experience, due in very large part to the wonderful women who made this experience possible, it was not everything that I imagined.  Perhaps I simply built up this situation too much in my mind.  The reality of the situation was that there were twice as many women in the room all expecting to leave the situation physically satisfied and there was a huge potential for emotional issues that left me feeling overwhelmed.  I look forward to trying this situation again in the future as it was overall a good experience but if it never happens again, I am just thankful for the opportunity I had to explore this with these two women.

2 comments:

  1. Love this! I can see how that would get a tad bit overwhelming! Way to be a trooper ;)

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  2. Completely agree, my first MFF experience, I was doing all the work and trying to be fair to both women and it was not as enjoyable as I hoped. As I experienced it more things changed and now I can relax and enjoy the experience. It helps when both women are bi so as to share the fruits of labor and the pleasures.

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