August 3, 2013
Processional- “Home”
- Each Friend of Honor will walk in
separately
- K & J will walk in together
Welcome/Opening Words/Introduction
Family
and Friends, we have been invited here today to share with K and J a
very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their
love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now we are
gathered here to celebrate their love and life together. And for them, it is very fluid and very alive.
In her book “Gift From the Sea” – American Author
Annie Morrow Lindbergh says:
“When you love someone, you do not love them all the
time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. That is an impossibility.
It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.
We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships
that we leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are
afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on
continuity – But the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in
growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free,
barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or
possessing. It is in not in demanding or
expecting, not in hoping, even.
Security in a relationship lies neither in looking
back to what was in nostalgia, nor in looking forward to what it might be in
dread or anticipation. Security lies in
living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.
Relationships must be like islands, one must accept
them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded
and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the
tides.”
Family and Friends, J and K are so
glad that you are here with them today as they celebrate their love, their life
and their relationship. The bravery, the
honesty, the commitment to living with the ebb and flow of life that they bring
to this moment – come from the love and support with which you have supported
them over the years. They appreciate so
much what you have given them – and they honor also the many others, both
living and dead, who have helped shape their lives.
Readings
To Love is
Not to Possess - James Kavanaugh,
“To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one's self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one's self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one's inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon's own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child's scars
Or an adult's deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.”
From
Gifts from Eykis -Wayne Dyer
"Your love is located within you. It is yours to
nurture and savor, to give to others in any way you choose. Love must be
without qualifications or demands. You must learn to find ecstasy in other
peoples happiness. Once you feel love for yourself, it is quite normal to give
it away."
From The Prophet -Kahlil Gibran
“Let there be space in your togetherness.
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of
your souls.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each
one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they
quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s
shadow.”
Song- “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”
Affirmation of Intentions
J and K – I will now ask
you to affirm your intentions in coming before us
today.
J – do you come here of your
own free will to declare your commitment to K
as her very own person, to declare your commitment to your relationship to her as your partner, friend and lover,
and to celebrate your commitment with beloved
family and friends.
Response: I do
And do you promise to make this
relationship a top priority in your life –
doing the work through intentional
and compassionate communication,
to keep this relationship alive,
positive and strong between you.
Response: I do
K – do you come here of your own
free will to declare your commitment to J
as his very own person, to declare your commitment to your relationship to him as your partner, friend and
lover, and to celebrate this commitment with beloved
family and friends.
Response: I do
And do you promise to make this
relationship a top priority in your life –
doing the work through intentional
and compassionate communication,
to keep this relationship alive,
positive and strong between you.
Response: I do
Wedding Vows
Having
so affirmed your intentions, I will ask you now to join hands and repeat your
wedding vows.
I, K take you, J, to
be my friend, partner and lover and I take you to be no one other
than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know,
with respect for your integrity and with faith in your
love for me, I promise to bring my very best to our relationship, through all our
years together and in all that life may bring us.
I, J take you, K, to be my friend, partner and lover and I take you to be no one other
than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know,
with respect for your integrity and with faith in your
love for me, I promise to bring my very best to our relationship, through all our
years together and in all that life may bring us.
Rings
May I
now have the rings?
The
ring is a circle, and the circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the
universe, of wholeness, and perfection, and peace. The ring you give and
receive this day is also the symbol and the circle of shared love into which
you enter together.
J and K – as you wear these rings upon your finger and as you look at them
throughout your life – may they always remind you of this day, this celebration of love, and this commitment to each other and your own best
hearts.
Placing the Rings.
K,
I J, give you this ring as a symbol of my love, my commitment to you and
my commitment to the life we share together.
J,
I K give you this ring as a symbol of my love, my commitment to you and my
commitment to the life we share together.
Silence and Blessing
Let us now pause for a moment and in
silence just drink in the beauty and the promise
of these two young people.
Now hear these words of Reflection – From Psychologist
Erich Fromm
“Can any of us really have love?
If we could, love would need to be a thing, a
substance that we can have, own, possess.
But the truth is, there is no such thing as “love.”
“Love” is an abstraction, perhaps a goddess or an alien being, although nobody
has ever seen this goddess.
In reality, there exists only the act of loving. To
love is a productive activity. It implies caring for, knowing, responding,
affirming, enjoying: the person, the tree, the painting, the idea. Love means
bringing someone or something to life, increasing his/her/its aliveness.
Love is a process, that is self-renewing and
self-increasing. . .To say “I have a great love for you” is meaningless. Love
is not a thing that we can have. It is a
process, an inner activity that we are the subject of. I can love, I can be in
love, but in love I have . . .nothing. In fact, the less I have the more I can
love.”
Jeffrey and Katie may you be the subject of a great
love. And may the love in your hearts
give you joy. May the greatness of life bring you peace. and may your days be
good, and your lives be long upon the earth.
Pronouncement
Family and Friends - I now present you K & J – stunning individual human
beings and now a stunning couple – committed to their own souls, to one another and to the betterment of life for
all living things.
K and J – you have been building your
relationship with mindfulness, bravery
and compassion for years and today you have declared your love and commitment to one another and to us all.
The Kiss
I
invite you now to seal this ceremony with a kiss.
Benediction
Now J and K – May the
blessing that rests upon all those love well rest also upon you and fill you both with lightness and grace. May the power of the love that unites you continue to grow and evolve and be strong. May you so grow
and love and work together that your lives will be enriched by a true and deepening comradeship of heart and
mind. May you have a lot of fun every step along
the way. And may you bring a great deal of joy to the world wherever you go – for years and years to come. AMEN
Recessional- “Heart
Strings”
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