Merry Vulva Christmas!

Check this out and more on SexualityReclaimed

***

J gave me the BEST GIFT EVER!!!

He remembered that I have wanted one since I saw one in some kind of sexual education or training.

If you want your own, visit Etsy and search “WondrousVulvaPuppet” 

Bringing a Vibrator to Class

Read this and more at SexualityReclaimed!

***

I walked into our grad lounge, and a few of my classmates were sitting at a table.

“Do you have your white elephant gift?” one asked me.

I started to laugh. “Yeah, but I’m a little nervous that it might be inappropriate.” We all started to laugh.

“Well, as long it’s not a dildo! Cause, I mean, that would be bad…” another laughed.

I paused and looked at the other two.

“That’s what you brought!!” laughed the first.

Haha, yep.

J and I got a free vibrator with my collar and nipple clamps, and I certainly hadn’t used it. It was just sitting on our bookshelf next to our toy box. It needed a good home.

Funny part, too, was I put it in a mug I had painted myself at one of those DIY ceramics painting places and stuffed around the vibrator with Halloween candy. It was pretty awesome.

I kept repeating that the vibrator was unused and the mug was hand-painted, and people kept hearing that the vibrator was hand-painted. Uh, NO. Ha!

How many looks I got and the amount of laughter in the classroom was evident that I brought something pretty rich. Sex is taboo, self-pleasure is taboo. Thus, sex toys are funny.

The classmate of mine who had joked earlier that bringing a dildo perhaps would be inappropriate was the first to take it during the exchange. Perfect! It was later stolen by a classmate sitting next to me. “Tonight’s going to be a good night,” he told me. “You better let me know how that goes” I responded, laughing.

Our teacher did commend me on pushing the boundaries of my classmates’ comfort levels.

My classmate sitting next to me said something like, “Well if I knew we could bring vibrators into the therapy room, I’m all of a sudden a lot more excited to be doing all of this.”

Haha, me too. Me too.

New Favorite Toys

Read this on SexualityReclaimed!

***

J and I recently welcomed two new additions to our sex toy box:

My first nipple clamps (Bound to Please Plier Nipple Clamps from Good Vibes)

and

My first collar (Clover Rhinestone Black Leather Collar from Good Vibes)

[We enjoy supporting our local sex toy shops, but an amazing friend gave us a gift card to Good Vibes for our wedding, so we had to take advantage of that!!]

Both additions are extraordinarily hot!

My nipples are typically really sensitive, and while I enjoy my tits squeezed super hard, I shy away from any kind of sensation on my nipples. So I surprised myself in suggesting we get some nipple clamps. These clamps are great though, because you can choose a very low amount of pressure. I enjoyed them for just an extra amount of pressure and sensation, and I totally loved how they looked and felt against my stomach.

My collar is amazing. It is *just* what we were looking for: sparkly, sexy, submissive. It totally adds to the D/s component of our sex life when we want to play with that.

On my wish list:

A flogger.

When J and I were at the Velvet Rope’s grand reopening party a while back, I got flogged by a drag queen (that was awesome- I blogged about it here). Ever since, I have been wanting to buy a flogger, but gosh darn, they can be so expensive!! This one at SheBop looks like a possible option

Any new favorite sex toys of yours?

Jacuzzi Tub: Where It's At

Please go read this post on my new site, SexualityReclaimed! :)

I don’t know if I have used a jacuzzi tub before, and if I have, I certainly had never used one like I used one tonight.

J and I had showered together, and it was pretty routine: share the water, shampoo, soap, scrub, wash face, rinse, smack each other’s asses, kiss a little. And then the chemistry that I feel with him came rushing over me, the burning want-you sensation in my abdomen and pussy. We started making out more and more. I knelt down, started sucking his cock, taking him in deeper and deeper into my mouth. We switched positions, and my pussy has never felt so good. I half-pulled him back up and turned around, guiding his cock into my aching pussy. He pounded me, coming closer and closer to coming. Every so often he would pull out and rub my clit so I come come, melting with the hot water.



He left for a moment to grab a cock sheath, and we started filling up the tub. My heart was pounding, my pussy aching for more. Sometimes it takes a lot of warm-up in order for me to take a cock sheath, but not so much tonight. I wanted it. After J slid his sheath on, we resumed our standing doggy style position, and he pounded me harder, faster, harder.

I had J sit on the edge of the tub so I could slide down onto his cock riding him hard, up and down, back and forth. We made out, he slapped my ass, pulled my hair.

Then, the part that made me hottest: J sat in the tub, and I got on top of him. The buoyancy of the water, the jets and bubbles: they were all too much for me to handle. J’s cock and the sheath were making my pussy wetter and wetter, pulsating more and more with every motion I exerted. Before long I was rubbing my clit furiously, coming harder and harder, shuddering with the desire for this man I love and want.

I wanted J’s come inside me, to fill me up. I whispered dirty things to him, fantasies of ours we share, and I told him what I wanted him to do to me. We even role played a little, the first time ever.

Thank you Seattle, for a fabulous vacation. Thank you jacuzzi tub, for making my hot sex even hotter.

The Incredible Hunk

J and I finally played with our newest toy last night. Yes, it really is called The Incredible Hunk. I liked it! And was able to use more of it than I thought! The feeling is similar to fisting or DVP- really full. It's made of silicone and has really nice ridges and texture, and so has an amazing feel. I recommend!! :D

I've got to admit: I'm just as taken with the marketing. It cracks me up! "A NEW league of HEROES has arrived just in time to SAVE you from BORING bedroom play!" Haha! (*easily amused*)

Swingers Club, Heteronormativity, & Couple Privilege... and DVP

J and I had a fabulous time at our swingers' club last night (hooray for Hump Day!)

But, almost every time we're there I become at least mildly irritated by displays of heternormativity. And now I can include becoming annoyed by the system of couple privilege at play. 

Last night, one of our closest friends met us there (it was his "singles" night and his wife, another super close and awesome friend of ours, was at home with their baby). It was really fun to hang out together, but I was completely flabbergasted when the staff came into the Couples Lounge to tell us that the three of us could not be in there together. Typically, only hetero couples and single women are allowed in the Couples Lounge, and it didn't cross my mind that having another guy with J and I would be a problem. It was a dual heteronormativity/couple privilege situation, and it really did leave my mind blown. The staff member who told us to leave said that having another guy with us was only allowed on their themed "Bi Night"- wtf? It's always "bi night" there if you are a woman, but apparently men only get one night a month, and on that special night (whoopdedoo) if you are a man and don't have a woman half, you are allowed into the Couples Lounge. Big deal. And- this idea assumes that men who want to go into the Couples Lounge are bi to begin with (and I still can't figure out why the Couples Lounge is the place where you would extend monthly privileges to bi men, instead of it always being a welcoming space). Last night, it was a situation of three people who simply wanted to be around each other in one of the club spaces. And what about people in poly configurations, like triads? Can they not then enjoy the Couples Lounge? Perhaps they could get in without notice if they were a man-woman-woman triad, but a man-man-woman triad would, based on our experience last night, would run into some difficulties. That's an issue.

Now that I have gotten my little rantiness out of the way, I have to say that I checked another super fun and exploratory thing off my sexy list- DVP! (double vaginal penetration).

I. loved. it.

Big surprise, haha! Given my love of multiple cocks, I had a feeling that I would dig it, and I did. And, it was surprisingly easy, logistically. I was riding our friend, and J came behind me in doggy style position. I think my pussy has perhaps gotten used to fairly wide insertions, with all of the play J and I do with his cock sheaths. It felt amazingly good!!! After J came, it was so hot to have J's come sliding around another cock inside me. Mmm, delicious.

Recent Tools for Self-Growth

Here are some tools and toys that have been especially inspiring to me in the past week :)

The Enneagram: I just love this thing. J took the quiz in college and had to write a paper on his personality type and also had the opportunity to discuss my type in relation to his. It was enlightening then, and even more enlightening for me now. For example, my type (Type 2) goes toward Type 4 during integration and growth, becoming more independent and creative. That process typifies my whole past year since being out of school, being back in counseling, stripping, figuring more out about myself, and engaging in things that I want to do. Cool! I have loved having other friends and family take the test so we can talk about our similarities and differences, too, and how our types work with and (sometimes) against one another.

Feel the Fear... and Then Do It Anyway: I recently started this book. I can't remember who recommended it to me, and when, but it has been on my "to read" list for a long time. I absolutely love it so far!! Her basic premise is that all fears, whether they are about finding a job or making new friends or intimacy or death, is about the idea that "I can't (or won't be able) to handle it." So, her suggestions and techniques are about boosting your positive self talk, confidence, self esteem, thoughts, and behaviors so you know you can handle whatever it is. I have found it pretty helpful as a framework for applying to open relationship challenges. What might I be afraid of? That J will leave me? That he will love someone else? That he will enjoy amazing, mind-blowing sex with someone else? Using Jeffers' framework, I would say that my basic fear with all of these things is that I don't think I can handle any of these things if they were to happen. Thinking about fears this way allows me to say to myself- No, I most certainly can handle that! I'm not going to die, I will keep on living, I'll keep on loving. I'm not done with the book yet, but so far, it's been eye-opening and an easy read.

Continued chakra meditation and practice: I allow these meditations to enter my consciousness several times throughout the day. I breathe in calm and universal energy, and allow my out-breaths to take away any gross, murky, yucky energy that has accumulated in my body. I concentrate on embodying the characteristics of each chakra. I always feel at least a little more relaxed and peaceful afterwards.

Ben-wa balls (I have the Lelo Luna beads): I have been wanting some ben-wa balls for a long, long time. Finally spent the money on them! They have been super fun to play with and leave in during exercise and housework. While I mistakenly bought the classic size (Lelo makes the mini size for women under 30 or for those who have never gone through childbirth), but they seem to fit fine and are not noticeable to me at all once they are in. Yay for working out my pelvic floor! :)

Really utilizing the depth and breadth of my social support network: I am so grateful for my amazing partners, my close-knit group of open friends (and especially for my open women friends), the responsive and insightful open community on the interwebs (poly forum, reddit, etc), my super supportive vanilla friends, and my super supportive family members. I have to publicly thank all of these awesome people from time to time for how much love, openness, and support you bring to my life. Thank you :)

Peyronie's Disease, Cock Sheaths, Swinging, & Sex IQ

"I ran into your blog online the other day after finding a few postings on DA.com.  My searching for these types of articles will become apparent by the end of the e-mail.  I realize you are not Dan Savage or whatever but thought I'd go ahead and give it a go.  Hell maybe it will give you an idea for a column.  If not all I did was waste some of my time by sending a e-mail into the net ether.
 

After looking at the postings and some of your replies I've got a question about a certain... ahem product that you seem to speak highly of.

I think it is called oxoballs cock extender sheath.  So I took a look at the website these are from, but that didn't really answer my unique circumstance/question and I don't think my doctor is going to be privy to the information I require. Here goes with a bit of story included....

I'm a happily married guy and I do everything to please my wife (toys, rope, clamps, riding crop, etc. etc.).  The amount of towels we need to put down before sex would suggest that she is having a good time, but I would love to see if the oxoballs would give me some of the extra length I'm looking for.  However, I'm hesitant to drop cash on something that might not fit on a curved penis.

Any thoughts on if the oxoballs would bend easily around a curved penis or is it quite rigid?...

Without getting into graphic pictures, etc. wikipedia provides a good overview of the kind of curvature I have (peyronie's disease).  Long story short over time the penis bends, which results in quite crappy side effects and some shortening of the penis.... And also there is no cure currently except some rather drastic and scary surgery (for the love of God! do not google that... you don't want to know).

I have been exploring the long term option of seeing if I might enjoy watching my wife have sex with other men / opening our relationship so she can get what she needs from time to time that I will be unable to physically give her.  Sad thoughts for me, but it could be a reality and it seems rather selfish for her not to pursue things.  We have already talked about this and are very open with our communication.  Right now we are still in the information gathering / talking stage, but we might give it a whirl at some point with the right guy. 

We also thought about swinging with another couple, but I have doubts about how other wives would react to a curved penis.  It works fine, feels good to her, and she comes like crazy.  However, visually it seems like it might be a shock and / or draw comments (sort of my nightmare scenario).  Also... would one bring up this issue before play starts?" 

From J:

The Oxballs brand cock sheaths are quite flexible.  To give you some indication of how flexible they are, it is quite easy to bend them completely back on themselves with just the force of one hand. I am quite confident that they will easily fit comfortably on even a VERY curvy penis. We have both the "Dude" and the "Gym Boy" models and they are both made of TPR Silicone blend which is basically just flexible silicone. The "Gym Boy" is fun because it is longer but the "Dude" is slightly thicker. If you are quite curvy, I would probably recommend starting with the "Dude" as it will be less likely to exacerbate your curvature since it is a bit shorter. 

Also, I just wanted to add in some information about swinging and swinging couples. Since we started playing with other couples over two years ago we have seen tremendous variety in sexual organs. Everyone has pretty uniquely shaped, colored, sized, et cetera parts. If you engage in more of the "progressive swinging", which is to go on a few dates with couples and get to know them first before playing, you may feel comfortable enough to hop into bed with those people knowing that they are not the kind of people who are going to make disparaging remarks about your unique cock. OR, you may feel comfortable simply telling them that you are a bit self-conscious about your curvy cock; my guess is that they will respond by providing some reassurance. I will tell you that I have personally struggled a lot with performance anxiety when swinging with other couples and I have found it really helpful to just put it out there before anything happens. I know this isn't really what you asked about but...I just wanted to give you my two cents.

From K:

I thought it made most sense to have J respond to your questions about cock sheaths, since he's the one who has actually used them :) As the recipient, I can tell you that being able to play with size is fun! However, if your wife is already pretty sensitive to size, make sure to warm up her pussy really well before trying to ram your cock + sheath inside. Both sheaths that J recommended definitely add girth, as well as length. The first number of times we played with them, we had to warm up really well, take things slow, and use a whole lot of lube. A big barrier for me, though, was mental- I looked at how big the sheath was and thought "No way that is going in me!" I was wrong, haha. Now that we have played with those toys many, many times, the mental barrier is no longer there and it takes less warm-up to get J's cock+sheath all the way in.

I really wanted to commend you for how unselfish you seem in considering your wife and her sexual needs. I think it is really amazing to hear that you would be willing to open up your relationship so that she is able to continue having intercourse with other people. 

You mentioned the possibility of you watching her with other men- does this turn you on? What are the goals of watching? Do you want to feel included or do you want to participate somehow? I only ask these questions because it seems important for you to know, as best you can, how you will feel watching your wife with someone else. (Of course, experiencing it can be something totally different. Proactive thinking and talking is the best you can do, and it sounds like you are engaging in that!) 

I also wanted to reiterate what J mentioned about bringing up your cock shape and sensitivities about it before playing with other people, especially in the context of swinging. My hope for you is that talking about it beforehand will alleviate your anxiety, because you will know before playing with someone whether or not they will be respectful, kind, and whether or not they are sexually/erotically intelligent. (Also, if you are able to have intercourse, enjoy other kinds of sex, and your wife has a good time, I am sure other women would be receptive to having sex with you.) In a traditional swinger space, I would bring it up once you have plans to play with another couple (I would say something like: "Yeah, this sounds really fun and hot! Let's do it! I do want to let you know that my cock curves quite a bit. I can totally have intercourse and my wife always has a good time, but I just wanted to let you know." This gives the other people a chance to respond before everyone is naked, and you a chance to relax. Getting turned on while anxious is almost impossible.) In a progressive swinger space, I think you would have ample opportunity and a lot of room to bring it up, whether it is during an email conversation or over your first date or two before things get hot. And, if anyone is rude or mean, you probably don't want to play with them anyway.

Lastly, it seems important to mention sexual/erotic intelligence. It sounds like you are quite able to have intercourse still, but are considering the possibility in the future that you may not be able to anymore. I know that depression and withdrawal from one's partner are common effects from Peyronie's disease; I'm sure it can feel very depressing to not be able to engage in a part of sex that feels central to many people. However, penile-vaginal sex doesn't have to be (and isn't in my book) the be-all-end-all of sexual experience. Oral sex, anal play, playing with hands, playing with toys, incorporating dirty talk and porn and any other kinks all count as "sex" in my book. (And it sounds like you two incorporate many accoutrements in your sex, so, yay!) Think about how you define "intimacy," too, and how you define physical intimacy. It doesn't need to only include penile-vaginal sex. Broadening your definition may help you fear the loss of penile-vaginal sex less, or at least help you remember that there is still a lot that you can engage in that is intimate and meaningful and fun. I don't want to discount your experience or minimize what you have gone through at all; but because sexual intelligence has been a really important part of what J and I have incorporated into our sex life, I wanted to be sure to talk about it here.

Good luck!!

Our Favorite Sex Toys

In time for Valentine's Day, here are our favorite sex toys, in no particular order (mostly, I had just been wanting to post my favorite sex toys and it seemed timely :-P ):

• Hitachi: I've talked about this one enough on here. Enough said. But please be careful of your clitoris. No one wants a broken clitoris.
• OxBalls Cock Sheaths: Also have been mentioned (but not by name) on here. They are amazing for adding girth, length, and texture. They can be quite the challenge if you are up for it ;-) (We have the Dude and the Gym-Boy, and I love them both.)
• Pure Romance Super Stretch Lips: This is J's favorite masturbation sleeve, even above the Tenga Air Flip. This sleeve is super squishy, easy to use, and cleans up well. It can also be used in conjunction with a blow job. Mmm.
• Glass dildo: I got my glass dildo at a sex positive shop in southern OR. It was made by a local artisan, and I love it. It curves just slightly, has a bigger head, and swirled ridges. It's light pink, with a pretty flower at the bottom. I love glass, because it heats up and cools down quickly, can be used with any kind of lube, and is completely sterile/washes super easily. Explore online or at your favorite sex store and I am sure you can find a comparable glass toy.
• Fetish Fantasy Elite Dildo: I mentioned this dildo recently (re: Sexy Shower Time) post. I love it because the size is a huge challenge, curves lightly at the end so it reaches my G spot well, and increases in size gradually. It also can be used with a harness and suctioned to shower walls and bath floors. Yum.
• Feeldoe Vibrating Dildo: I love this. Absolutely love it. The ads for it say you don't need a harness to use it, but that's baloney. At least, I don't know any woman who works her Kegels enough to hold in the dildo sans harness. I can't remember which size I have (either classic or slim), but I definitely have the vibrating kind. We eventually bought a better bullet vibe (the one that came with the dildo lost battery really quickly), and it can go and go. It is so fabulous that the wearer gets clitoral stimulation from the ridges and vibration. Also, mine is blue (remember Avator cock??), which is hot. This dildo pairs well with Aslan's Cherry Jaguar harness.
• JO Premium Lube: Our favorite lube, by far. It is silicone, super thick and slippery, and lasts a long time. JO water-based lube is also nice. Just remember that technically, you should not use silicone lube with silicone sex toys, as it will degrade the sex toy faster.
• Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System: This restraint system is super easy to set up, and kick-started our explorations of bondage, domination, and submission. 

Happy Sexing! And Merry Early Lovin' Day! Remember to show love and gratitude to all those you love: romantic, platonic, and familial peeps.
Share the love and swim in it :) 

Sexy Shower Time

So in my ongoing quest to rediscover my orgasms sans Hitachi, I pulled out one of my favorite dildos to use in the shower. (I've had some awesome ones with J recently, too. Cowgirl has been one of the best positions to really get into. I have remembered that after a lot of G spot stimulation, my clit gets more and more sensitive and the sensation alone of J's lower abdomen on my clit while I ride him is definitely enough to get me off. They are beautiful, full-body, writhing-with-pleasure kinds of orgasms. The ones that mean I can hardly move afterwards.)

You know when the mood strikes you- you just feel turned on from being alive and realize you need to satisfy that itch?

So I did. I got my awesome dildo out, my silicone lube, and got in the shower. I love the suction cup base and I love the challenge from the size of the dildo. I even fingered my ass, which I rarely do. I came multiple times, and my last amazing orgasm happened while I was riding the dildo and fingering my ass. I loved the sensation on my finger of my ass and pussy contracting, relaxing, pulsating while I orgasmed. 

There is something, too, about being sexy in the shower- or any water for that matter. I love being sexy in hot tubs and at the lake and in the ocean. It's different for me than my other preferred masturbating area- in my bedroom in front of the closet mirror. I realized that all of my processing and stress from the past couple of months left me dry of my personal sex life, and I feel happy that I have been feeling in the mood again, and aware enough to take advantage of myself ;-) 

I am also happy to have a more consistent personal sex life again, as this was something that came up for me in counseling a little while ago. It had to do with being in touch with myself and giving myself the touch and intimacy that I desire in my life. I feel relaxed and happy remembering that I can give myself some of those things that I desire.

Hitachi Hiatus: Quick Update

J just listened to a recent Dr. Drew podcast. It featured Dr. Andrew Goldstein, a vulvavaginal disorders specialist. In the podcast, Dr. Goldstein discusses the fact that too much of a powerful vibrator can actually damage the clitoral nerve; the nerve can also be damaged though cycling. But Jesus, I guess my concern over my Hitachi use is warranted. If the nerve is damaged badly enough, patients are prescribed a complete sexual hiatus and nerve repairing medication for three months. I better slow down while I'm still ahead (!)

Hitachi Hiatus

Oh why oh why must you be so damn good, Hitachi Magic Wand??? So good, that I must now take a hiatus from you?


I have joked around for the past few (longer?) months that I would be doomed if the power went out for an extended period of time or if I was in the woods for a month, because my Hitachi provides me an opportunity for a Hitachi orgasm. Only accessible through the use of a Hitachi, obviously. And with the necessity of a power outlet. (FYI: a Hitachi orgasm is a special kind of orgasm. Like getting shocked and having it shoot through my limbs.)

While J and I were gone over Christmas and New Years, I brought it with me. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm sure plenty of women travel with vibrators, dildos, etc. It was my increasing awareness that my orgasms were getting dependent on the massive vibrations that led me to decide on taking a Hitachi break.

I used to be able to get off within a minute using the Hitachi on "low." Now, it can take quite a bit longer, and sometimes it takes it being on "high" before I can come. It's like my clitoris has toughened up from all of the crazy vibes, and now it needs time to rest and soften back up. And, I was noticing that without using it during partnered or solo sex, I was finding it troublesome that it took so much more for me to orgasm. I am a little worried that I really would be doomed if I wanted to masturbate with just my hands.

I am not sure how regimented I am going to be about not using my Hitachi; in fact, I just used it a few days ago to masturbate right before work. But, at the very least, I think I am going to consider other options before immediately resorting to it like I was. (Gah, sex! Hand me my Hitachi!) '

Wish me luck. 

The Hypnotic O

I meant to blog about this a while ago, but about three or four weeks ago J started looking at self-hypnosis videos on YouTube. It started out as a quest for meditation videos, and quickly became a hunt for good hands-free orgasm videos.

We decided to try it together. We laid down on the bed and turned off the light. The computer was set up and the video started playing. We first did a "beginner" hypnosis video so we knew what to basically expect and how to start zoning out. Then we moved to the "advanced" self hypnosis hands-free orgasm video.

Let me tell you: we both experienced physiological reactions to being zoned out or hypnotized or meditative (whatever you want to call it!). Neither of us came, but we had clenched up and contracting pelvic muscles and the sensations of coming without touching ourselves. It just shows you how your brain is your biggest sex organ. It was crazy!! I recommend giving this sex toy a try during a self-love session or with a partner- you might be as surprised as we were with how well it got us relaxed, turned on, and wanting to come for reals! (It isn't that surprising I suppose since you have to be relaxed before you can get turned on- so the deep relaxation that the video helps you get into coupled with thinking about being turned on means that it is probably relatively easy to have a hands-free orgasm.)

J just found this two-person video. We have plans to try it out later tonight ;-)

Pegging, Cock Sheaths, and Filming Oh MY!

Read this on my new site, SexualityReclaimed!

***

J and I had quite the adventurous weekend... full of:

Pegging.
Yes, pegging. I cannot even explain the amount of mental stimulation this gives me. We warmed J's ass up with some fingering and his prostate massagers. And then I put on my red cherry leather harness (hot!), and wait for it... my Avator cock. O. M. G. I slid it in to his ass slowly. I loved doing it with him on his back so I could watch his face. And I loved doing it while he was on his stomach so I could lay on him and pound away. It was incredible. He barely needed any extra stimulation to come. I gave him a barely-there hand massage while he was on his back and my Avatar cock slid in and out. It was hooottttt. Because my blue dildo is also double-ended and comes equipped with a vibrator, I had a great time in the physical sensation department as well. I really enjoyed not only making him come in another way (by stimulating his ass and prostate) but also  the power play dynamic. Feeling like I was the penetrator and he was the penetratee was awesome.

Cock Sheaths.
This is our new favorite toy, I think. Also known as penis extenders, they are more heavily marketed to gay men. So if you want to find a high quality one, look on gay sex toy sites. The idea is to add girth and length. Again: O. M. G. Using one requires the same kind of warm up that ass play requires. I need my pussy stretched out with fingering and dildo play. I need lots and lots and lots of lube. But once J + his cock sheath is in me, I frickin' love it. I love it. One drawback is that my vulva and lips get pretty sore if we're not careful with keeping enough lube on. J bought one initially off of Amazon. It is rubber and goes on sort of like a harness. He liked it because it inadvertently warmed up his ass by rubbing his ass with the strap. We went to a sex toy store and made an upgrade. This one is silicone and slips onto his cock like an extra thick condom. It feels better for both of us. Our best experience with it was when I slid myself onto his cock in doggy style, and once it was all the way in, J pounded me until he came. And then he pulled out and I came sooo much with my Hitachi. Whew.

And more camera work.
We filmed J using his cock sheath on me, and it was really hot to watch. Unfortunately, it is just barely the wrong angle; I can't see his cock moving in and out of me. BUT! We are going to do it again! (Of course!) Also- we are definitely going to film a pegging session. We are now looking for someone willing to come film us so that we can have all of the best angles documented...

Oh. My. GOD. :D

My Gang Bang / Goddess Worship Fantasy

Read this on my new site, SexualityReclaimed!

***

Want to know part of my gangbang/goddess worship fantasy? Read on, read on:

J drops me off at the hotel, where he warms me up. He goes down on me, makes me squirt, but keeps me from orgasm. He leaves me to get all dolled up and to play with my vibrators and dildos, but I will not be allowed to orgasm yet. I wear some sexy lingerie and jewelry and heels. J goes out and meets a group of men (5-15) at a bar near the hotel, and makes sure everyone is still comfortable with the rest of the evening. When everyone is ready, he leads everyone back to our room, where he will first come in alone. He blindfolds me and puts my arms and legs in the bed restraints. He calls me a little gangbang slut and tells me know that there are a bunch of guys waiting to have their way with me. Soon after, he lets everyone in.

When everyone comes in, J fingers me and goes down on me so you can see how I squirt and orgasm. Then I want whoever is ready first to penetrate me and fuck me for a few minutes to warm my pussy up. Without cumming, he takes his cock out of my pussy so that J can fuck me until he comes. Then the first guy can resume fucking me and fuck me as hard and long as he wants until he comes. While this is going on, I want someone to put his cock in my mouth, and I want a cock in each of my hands. When my pussy is free, I want someone else to start using it. After a while, I want the restraints off so that I can use my arms and hands more freely. I want some men to hold my arms and legs down while someone fucks me. I want to be put into whatever positions suits my group. I love doggy style. I would love to be flipped from my back to my stomach and back again. I love spit roast- being fucked from behind while I go down on someone else. I want cock in my face the whole night. I want everyone to come as many times as everyone wants, and I want everyone walking away satisfied. I want to be spanked, my hair pulled, and to be called slut and whore. I want to use the restraints and to be held down. I want come on my ass, tits, face, stomach and legs. I crave being a cumslut. If I ever get tired, I want to simply lay on the bed while everyone uses my pussy. Then I want everyone to slowly leave so that J can pound me and use my pussy for a second or third or fourth time.

***

I fantasize about this so much. J and I have become "those people" that use Craigslist as a sex toy. We have posted several ads to create one of these events, and for some reason or another, they don't manifest (STI concerns, surgeries, family obligations, etc.). I really do hope that at some point in my life, I am able to experience my fantasy and live it out. Because I know. I know it will be super, super hot, hot, hot.

I Found It!!

I finally found J's p spot! And brought him to spectacular orgasm! YESSSS!!! :-D

This must be what it feels like for a partner who finds his/her partner's g spot. It was incredible!

I loved the whole experience- lubing him up, giving him an awesome blow job, dirty talking, and slowly working my fingers into him. As I stroked his p spot he became more and more aroused, I could feel his p spot getting bigger and bigger until finally I watched him cum. It was absolutely crazy how much it felt like fingering a vagina. Really similar orgasmic contractions, only way stronger.

We invested in a couple new toys for him- prostate massagers. We haven't used them yet, as we are still working our way up to them. But we also got Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Pegging (which is something we both want to do very badly!!), which has had some really helpful tips so far for anal play. Such as the fact that the prostate is about 2-3 inches inside the rectum- I wasn't successful in locating it until now because for some reason thought it was much closer to the opening. And seeing actors in positions that work for them to stimulate the prostate was also really helpful. I love educational porn! Totally helpful, and puts me even more in the mood, because I'm like "Oooo I want to do that!" :-D

Yay. :-)

Magic Bullet Does Not = Magic Wand

J and I are visiting with family this week for our spring break. Here is one exchange that almost made me pee my pants, and gave me stomach cramps and asthma.

Mom (on the phone with sister-in-law, talking about babies and baby food): Oh, we need to blend up the food? You use a magic bullet? I think I only have a blender. (turning to me): Do you have a magic bullet? Do your parents ever use one?

Jeffrey (looking at me from across the room): Uh,.... (frickin' huge smile)... no, just a blender.

Me: (too big of a smile for talking about baby food and blenders) Uh,... no, just a blender. (I don't even know what the hell a magic bullet IS, besides maybe a term for an awesome bullet vibrator!)

I had to literally leave the room. I sat on our bed with the door closed, cracking up, looking at MY "magic bullet" (my Hitachi magic wand). J walks in, cracking up. "Yeah, maybe you should go hand her YOUR magic bullet!!" as he turns it on high and throws it on me.

A Raunchy Birthday Morning

Happy Birthday to J! 

It was J's birthday a few days ago... And awaiting him when he woke up was this:

Awesome, right?? :-D A little GW porn, his favorite sleeve, and some nice lube make for a wonderful solo morning! Especially on a birthday!

Sheldon the Wonder Schlong

J named my Avatar cock Sheldon. "When Harry Met Sally" anyone?? :-D

Avatar Cock: First Experiences with a Strap-On

J had been wanting me to get a strap-on ever since I had realized that I am turned on by sex with women. I decided it was a good idea, too. I haven't had a lot of sexual experiences with women yet, but I thought having one more possibility of how to please another woman sounded like fun!

And so last week, we went together to a nice sex toy shop to investigate the different kinds of dildos and harnesses. I am so glad I got the advice of a couple of friends first (thank you H & C!!), because I literally had no idea what kind to get. The person working at the shop was also very helpful. After about 40 minutes of perusing the different kinds, we ended up with a double-ended dildo with a vibrator, so that the penetrator also has some physical sensations and pleasure associated with using it.... Basically, it is awesome. And blue. So it looks like I have an Avatar cock!

Which just totally adds to my dorky enjoyment of the whole experience.

Anyways, J convinced me to get a really nice harness, which also added to the enjoyment. Really soft red leather. Mmmm, delicious!

Dan Savage is totally right when he says women should use a strap on at least once, to understand what men are doing. OH MY GOSH. It is work!! I am used to laying there and hardly doing any real physical work (I mean, some work, but not compared to using a strap on for penetration!!). My arms got tired from holding myself up! I actually started to sweat a little, my heart rate went up, and it wasn't just from being pleasured!

I definitely also experienced a new feeling of vulnerability, in the sense that I really had no idea what I was doing with it on. I am not used to thrusting like that, and when J had me practice the motion, I felt like a total dork, and I looked like one too! We laughed a lot. Thankfully, I think I got the hang of it fairly well, considering I had never used one before. Communicating with my partner about what felt good was key; I couldn't feel what was going on at the other end! All I had were verbal cues to know whether to go faster, slower, harder, softer. It was a constant check-in process, and one that I think will have to continue because of the lack of nerves in my Avatar cock. I will always have to check in about how it is feeling for the other person, and when we switch positions, I will have to be communicative about how it feels for me.

I also have to talk a little about my seemingly uncontrollable reaction to putting the dildo in and walking around with it... I felt powerful. And I really wanted J to... well, go down on me. That is, I wanted to see him bend down and suck and lick on that thing! Is that a crazy, weird, some sort of penis envy, power play thing??? I really don't know, but it felt so different. And cool. And I highly recommend it. And I can't wait to use it again!